dreams.
In March 2022 I realized God spoke to me through dreams.
It all began back in December 2021, I was in Nigeria, celebrating Christmas with my family. If you know anything about African families, particularly Nigerian ones, you’ll know that marriage is often idolized. My mom got married at 17, and since I was 17, I’ve heard that question: “When are you getting married?” One day during my three-week long visit, one of my aunts cornered me and asked if there was anyone I was interested in or dating in America. I told her, “Not really.” She then started giving me advice, telling me I needed to “put myself out there.” At the time, I didn’t have a strong relationship with God where I’d seek Him in every decision I made. That was where I went wrong in listening to her advice. It reminded me of Saul in 1 Samuel 15:24 when the Lord rejected him as king. Saul said, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men, so I gave in to them.” This is a harsh reality, but just because someone claims to be a believer doesn’t mean their advice is from God.
Fast forward, I’m back in the U.S., and one night, the thought of my aunt’s words comes back to me. I think, "You know Crystal, maybe she’s right. Maybe I need to ‘put myself out there’." But instead of seeking God, I went ahead and installed a Christian dating app (LOL). Long story short, I met a man. He checked all the boxes physically and met the criteria my family desired—he lived in Florida, was around my age, made the salary I desired in a partner, and could provide - and bonus points, he was Nigerian!!! But…there was one issue: for whatever reason my spirit was at unrest every time I would spend time or talk to this man. It wasn’t constant, but there were moments when he would say things or do things - like disagreeing on a topic and him hanging up on me - and I would feel TERRIBLE inside. What I thought was just me was actually the Holy Spirit warning me, saying, “Wrong way, Crystal. Something’s not right.” But in my naivety I kept going (ugh!). Some days we had Bible studies, went on dates, and everything seemed fine, but something still felt…off.
This was my first real attempt at seeking a relationship, and given my struggles with men in the past I decided to just put myself out there like my aunt said and just give it a try. Plus, I didn’t want to block my blessing if it really was from God. But then— here comes the juicy part. There was a week when I was supposed to visit this guy, and he lived in a city about 1 hour 45 minutes north of where I lived. And though I didn’t really want to go, I felt I should show effort since he always came to Orlando to see me. Leading up to that Saturday that I was supposed to go visit him, I kept waking up at 3 a.m. for 2 or 3 consecutive nights. I’m not sure if anyone has felt God’s presence, but His presence was SO HEAVYYY in my room. I had rarely ever felt anything like that in my life, but with the consistent waking up at 3 am I knew something was wrong, but I just didn’t know how or what to pray for it that moment…so, I ignored it and fell right back to sleep, not realizing that God was urging me to pray and seek Him about this man!
Then one night during this same week, I had a dream. In the dream, I was with this man, and we were talking. Suddenly, he didn’t like something I said, and he began choking me. I couldn’t breathe. He stopped, and I managed to exit the car. I ran and hid behind some cars in a parking lot, where I saw his mother. I screamed at her, “Your son is a deceiver. He isn’t who he claims to be!” And then I woke up in a cold sweat. It was around 3 a.m. when I woke up, and I was shaken. But due to my immaturity in my walk with God, I didn’t pray about the dream—I actually went back to sleep and ignored it. I learned that God speaks to us in the capacity in which we’re willing to hear, and I ignored it.
The next day, I continued on with life. But God, in His grace and mercy, decided to warn me again, in the capacity that I was willing to hear. At the time, I was obsessed with the NYT game Wordle (where my nerds at!?), and I’m pretty sure I grabbed my phone before I even reached for my Bible that morning. That same day, I played the game, and guess what the word of the day was…? CHOKE!!! I was *shook*. I realized, “Okay, God, You’re trying to get my attention?”
In my naivety, I took a screenshot of it and sent it to the man I was talking to, asking what he thought it meant. I had dreamed before and I didn’t know God was trying to communicate to me so I thought it was just a silly coincidence!! But when I messaged the man, he brushed it off as if he had no idea what I was talking about.
Then, on Thursday night, a couple of nights before I was supposed to visit him in Gainesville, I woke up again at 3 a.m. This time, I knew for sure that God was trying to speak to me. So, I prayed, saying, “God, if there’s anything you want to reveal to me about this man, no matter how much it hurts, reveal it.” The next day, while I was at work, I received a random text from an old college friend. She said her brother was giving out free background checks and asked if I knew anyone who might need one. Immediately, this man came to mind. I thought, “He’s a really nice guy, but I don’t think you’ll find anything on him.” But boy oh boy…was I wrong.
My friend came back with screenshots showing court records, revealing his real name (which wasn’t the full last name he gave me), along with cases involving domestic violence, a recent divorce, and a child!!!! I was devastated. At that moment, I felt heartbroken. I had tried to put myself out there, but it had backfired. Yet, all I could do was praise God. The next morning after I confronted the man and blocked him off of everything I shuffled my worship playlist and a song that I had never heard before came on first: Broken Vessels by Travis Greene. And I can’t even tell you but just know it had to be God because the lyrics resonated with my soul…”my deepest apologies for hiding the very things that need to be broken by you.” God was showing me to stop caring about the opinions of man, He wanted to break every thing in me to prune me and build me up, including this experience.
Fast forward to 2023, I was on Instagram one day and received a message request. And surprise, surprise, it was from this same guy. I didn’t respond, but out of curiosity (because I’m mad nosey) I found out that this man had been arrested for domestic violence…a month before he messaged me!!! GOD was protecting me!!!
In 2 Samuel 7:18, God makes a promise to David, and David responds, “Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?” And when I reflected on that time in my life, that’s all I could think: “Who am I, God, that You protected me and showed me Your grace and mercy in this situation?” There are women who go through similar situations and don’t know God. What would have happened if I didn’t know God? There are women who end up dead—if not physically, then spiritually or mentally. We know from John 10:10 that the enemy come to steal, kill, and destroy. I’m so grateful for God, which is why I share this. One of my favorite verses is Revelation 12:11: “They triumphed over him (the enemy) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”
God used this very lesson to bless me with the gift of prophetic dreams (from school shootings before they happened to the American Airlines plane crash), and I'm hoping I can share more powerful dreams He has given me in future blog posts.
I’m sharing this not only to encourage others, but also to warn them about the consequences of not listening to God. No situation is too hard for the blood of the Lamb—Jesus, the perfect sacrifice on the cross—to get you out of. Trust Him and lean not on your own understanding.
Amen.
